Barry Bonds is in one word the “greatester” hitter ever—the last “er” on the word greatest means that no hitter will ever come along and be better. It just will never happen. The Authority thinks that he is a great player and we have come up with our tribute to Barry, yeah we can just call him Barry, we are tight like that.

10 – Bonds in Court

This is more of a travesty than anything. But look at the way the predominant sports figure of our generation handles himself in the courtroom and with the press. Take notes kids, this guy has it all together, the poise, the swagger, the charm in the court room. Ohh, and the case is a sham.

On most list this achievement would be higher. But you forget we are talking about Barry Bonds and him breaking the all-time home run record was inevitable. And The Authority knew he was going to do it, so we just sat back and and waited for it to happen and of course it did, hey we’re smart like that.

8 – Bonds Goes His Own Way

So Barry is a free agent. So, he is going to get signed and he is going to add to his home run totals. And some new city is going to get to enjoy the greatness. He is a freak of nature who is also our hero. When the Giants announced that they were no longer going forward with Barry, we were happy. That means about 3 more years on his career, because if he stayed with them he would have to get a robotic knee. And yes, they do make them.

7 – Boys will be boys

With the addition of Barry Zito in the 2007 off season, San Francisco gained control of the two most powerful Barry’s in sports, sorry Barry Callaghan of rich soccer fame. The two megastars shared the spotlight quite well. In fact they became fast friends, they even had these great shirts made for eachother.

6 – Bonds is Hollywood

Barry shows that he has friends all over the world and in a number of lucrative markets. When he was asked to be on “90210” he graciously accepted. Note how his golf swing is vaguely familiar. When Bonds is in a scene he steals the show, and what we mean by that is all eyes are on him. Riveting. Also note there was a deleted scene in this episode where Barry takes Donna Martin’s most prized possession away from her in the back of Jaguar.

5 – Barry Won’t Back Down

Ballplayers have huge egos. It is the nature of the sport, to be the best you got to play like you are the best. The only difference is Jeff Kent has a huge mouth and he was messing with the best. So when Barry socked Jeff right in the mouth, we all cheered, because that is how Barry settles his problems.

4 – Bonds hits #71

You know not only is he the All-time home run leader, he also hit the most homeruns in a whole season. This only reassures us that we would definitely want him on any kind of fantasy team, because even in fantasy terms he is greatester.

3 – Bonds signs with the Giants

So yeah, Barry decided to go west and pursue bluer oceans and bigger vineyards when he left Pittsburgh for San Francisco. Here is a tribute video celebrating all of his achievements, but what about Barry just signing with the Giants, this changed a lot of people’s lives. 

2 – Bonds in Reality

 Barry is the King of bad publicity, but that is cool, most of us fans are able to sift through the bull crap and see that he is the most awesomest player ever, plus a cool guy. So when he said that he was going to do his own reality show to explain himself, we were there. Bonds on Bonds did not only show another side of Barry, it showed him as one of the top ten coolest people ever, watch this promo.

1 – Barry in the Series

Hey, we all make mistakes. And the Giants had a lot of them. When you misplayed that Garrett Anderson bloop single in the 6^th game of the World Series, we weren’t mad at you…we were disappointed in the situation in general. We still love you Barry and we know you will get your ring soon.