Nebraska natives have been all over this developing story since the imminent release of Bill Callahan. In fact, these are many of the same fans that had been staking out the Callahan house in Lincoln, NE for weeks now. One of the on-lookers was quoted, “We thought if Dr. Tom couldn’t get rid of’em, we might just help’em out.”

But now their focus has turned to Dr. Tom and his search for the next leader of Nebraska. (Which by the way in the state of Nebraska, Head football coach has more power than the governor and has actually been given the power to declare war) Another assembler said, “We drew up a short list at the end of the season, we then sent it to Dr. Tom and we just hope that he uses our list over some ‘recruiting service out of Atlanta.’”

Among their list of candidates were, #1 Chuck Norris, #2 Rambo, #3 Bill Parcells, #4 Denny Green and of course at #5 Bo Pelini. While reading over the list someone peeked over my shoulder and said, “We wanted someone to bring toughness back to the program.”

The Authority then asked , “So you picked Dennis Green?”

“Well he fills two roles really, we feel we should interview a minority candidate and we really like him in those Coors Light commercials.”

The Authority felt it was not in there best interest to tell the on-lookers that the minority rule was only in the NFL, but those things were loaded so The Authority kept its mouth shut.

Disputing your first impressions of these fans, they were actually quite internet savvy and were able to use airplane tracking technology to know exactly where Dr. Tom and his crew have been over the past week. “We saw him go to Baton Rogue, then Atlanta and then come back here, he headed off again but they turned off the signal. We got one over on them and we attached a rope with a can on the back of it, when they we will hear it.”

“What the whole thing comes down to is making Nebraska respectable again and drinking some beers,” said the leader of the group who asked to remain anonymous. “I mean without Nebraska Football all we have is Larry The Cable Guy, and I mean he is really funny, but we got have an excuse for drinking on Saturdays and a long time ago it was decided that the reason would be Nebraska Football and we don’t want to ruin tradition”